Mindful Meditation

     A few years back, life was becoming increasingly more stressful.  I spent the bulk of my time working 12 hour shifts as a nurse in a very busy ambulatory care department, serving the sick and injured.  Referring back to an earlier blog entry in the beginning, I had believed myself "indispensable" and part of a "family" with my coworkers, so I worked selflessly and exhaustively these long days, often working overtime and at times missing meal breaks as work demanded.  The other bulk of my time was spent struggling to sleep, since ideally we should be sleeping 8 hours per night, and I suffered with terrible insomnia.  My mind couldn't stop thinking, then I'd be telling myself to get to sleep, then I'd check the clock and tell myself how many more hours until the alarm rang. The rest of my time was doing whatever is required of life on any given day, grasping to accomplish anything to give an illusion to the world that I was keeping up.  My life reeled more out of control as my elderly mother, who lived in Florida, became sick and hospitalized.  Worry filled my days, being able to focus became difficult, as I tried to manage each day that I was presented with.  After several months, it became necessary for family intervention for a crisis with my mother, so emergency flying entered my life.  I needed something to help calm my inner being, which was in complete distress.   One Saturday a few years ago, as I shopped at our local WalMart, I found a woman's health fair was set up and I was presented with the opportunity to attend the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Program (MBSR) at the University of Massachusetts Medical School in Worcester, Massachusetts.  I had heard of this program, developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn, I had even bought his book a few years before entitled Where Ever You Go, There You Are, but I had not had the time to sit down and read it.  I said, "Yes!", knowing that something had to give in my life.  This was the life preserver thrown out into the sea that I was sinking in.  Where was my art in all of this?  It was present, I kept myself taking classes as best I could.  One month after my mother passed away is when I discovered The Woodstock School of Art, attending my first workshop.  Woodstock was where I found The Twin Gables, a beautiful bed and breakfast with complete peace and quiet.  I found a beautiful place to retreat to.  I also learned mindful meditation back home.  I will share more of this journey this week.  Please feel free to explore the website for MBSR, it is now a world-wide program.

Mindful-Based Stress Reduction, U-Mass Med School